I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
