Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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