Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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