Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
