what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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