dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
