Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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