p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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