the day after is always just damage control
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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