Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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