I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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