HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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