The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
