Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
