As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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