somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
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Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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