we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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