does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
