I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
