The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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