Non-Jews are for practice
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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