It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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