Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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