so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
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Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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