You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
