listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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