Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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