Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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