I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
ok first of all what the fuck
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