I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He shit in the fireplace
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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