you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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