i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
