worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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