If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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