I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
