New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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