I wanna bring you to show and tell
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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