last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
