Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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