ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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