he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
