well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we're so committed to being not committed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
