wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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