i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
