I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
