Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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