No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
