I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
