Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
