I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I AM VODKA MAN
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
