'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
