Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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