She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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