Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
