$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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