We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think I am morally bankrupt
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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