is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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