I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
