My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
