I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she told me i tasted like america
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
