Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
