i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
