it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
