She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
where are you?
Hypothermia
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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